Karcher Dreammobil

Dear Karcher inventors,

I have been a huge fan of Karcher since the mind blowing K2 pressure washer was released. As a enthusiast I have grown my collection to the savvy K5. I also like to find new things to pressure wash, recently my carpet which sounded like a good idea to begin with until the entire bedroom got soaked! I've spent the last two weeks repainting it and piecing back the chimney breast, what a cumbersome job that was. The damp smell has now gone and the room is almost dry now thanks.

I only work part time in a bookies, and the other half inventing! Last month I designed a new Ikea sofa which has a chair for my dog Kingsley. You can tell he enjoys sitting on it because usually he growls at things he doesn’t like, like courgettes and my elderly next door neighbours. I don’t like my other job much.

With my free time recently I have realised what Karcher have been missing and really could benefit millions of homes across the world. Therefore I felt it was my responsibility to design a Karcher Dishwasher - named the Dreammobil!! As you can see from the below image it is fantastic! The La Ferrari of the kitchen! A 9 point pressure washer power soaking system and enough space inside to wash your entire cutlery at once, it is ideal. I have thought of the TV slogan for it - 'So men can dishwash too'.

All my life I have needed one of these! So please Karcher, take a bite and make one. My designs are completely my designs however as a gift, you may use them as your own.

Let me know when production will start as I would like to visit the factory myself and watch them being made.

Kindest movements, George

Percy Pigs - 2!

Dear Marks and Spencer's

I hope you don't mind me emailing you at your email address, but I would like to share with you a new recipe for a cake you will enjoy and can start selling in your stores.

My daughter loves the recipe so much, she shouts at me once she comes in from school 'Dad give me the Percy Pig cake!' but she is very glutenous so we don't usually let her have any. I know you already produce a Percy Pig cake but you can replace the decoration with equivalent characters (these are my own I make at home) such as Alan Amphibian or Geoff the Dalmatian; a sweet Turkish delight canine.

For my daughters gluten allergy we subsidise gluten foods for various bits of things. Overall, the cake usually takes just under an hour to bake and eat. Here is the recipe so one of your many chefs can try it tomorrow.

1. Mix self raisin flowers, Cant believe its not butter, casting sugar and 3 eggs (the secret ingredient is swapping hen eggs for quail eggs - maybe 11 or 13 will do)

2. Oven it nicely for 45 minutes

3. Whisk midway through

4. Get it out, its hot!!!!

5. Empty all new cake into a biscuit tin of your choice and decorate with Marks and Spencer Percy pigs!

6. Serve to all local children (hehe - eat it) not my daughter!

I hope you can pass this on to your kitchen staff who make all the cakes for you as I know it is a good one for everyone to enjoy. Good luck!

Yours truly,

George Worton

Pizza Express

Dear Sir/Madam,

I would like to start off this email by stating that I am in fact, not a food critic. However I do enjoy food and would like to firstly state that I did very much enjoy my meal at your Bristol, Clifton Pizza Express restaurant. My problem with the meal was that the restaurant was in an appalling state. It clearly was busy, but the tables around me were not cleared for over an hour after the visitors left. It gave a school canteen feel, not the prestigious ambience I would expect from not just any Pizza Express, but a Clifton Pizza Express. I felt underwhelmingly dissatisfied.

The waitress was lovely, but again she was too busy with many other tables to provide the level of service required. My friends and I enjoyed our meals, which were delivered in a suitable time and we even had three types of lemonade on the table. An extraordinary circumstance, in my opinion.

I hope you can understand the disappointment in the quality of the restaurant and can pass on this message to the relevant teams to ensure that the staffing levels are met, for their benefit and the visitors. It was discomforting see the waitress struggling to serve and apologising adamantly for the problem which was outside of her control.

Kind regards,

George Worton

Happy Halloween

Dear Sir/Madam

I recently visited your Bedminster ASDA store and am emailing to give you some feedback about my experience there. Firstly, this store has become my local store due to moving houses, so ASDA is all new to me. Last week, I visited the store and half way through shopping the fire alarm went off, so I left and went to a comptetitor, which was inconvenient. But I did get a loaf of bread for £0.09, extraordinary.

Yesterday I quickly shopped for some basic foods as I was driving past, around 2 oclock. Having found the items I then went to queue. I realised that the store was very busy, particularly due to mums and dads being off work to be with their kids on half term. So I'm guessing alot of it was Halloween based shopping. So parents dress up their pugs and kids in scary outfits, or stay in and throw sugary and less tasty snacks like apples at the random children knocking on their doors. Anyhow, this made the store very busy. So queuing in the 'fast lane' was surely the best idea for a man with 4 items. Apparantly not. There were 5 or so people in front with baskets and shed loads of candy, costumes and food for the week. How is this fast lane going to work when you allow people with baskets to do it themselves (albiet slower than your trained workers). It should be 5 items or less! I even heard a woman stating ' I aint even used one of these in 2 'yers' in a strong Bristolian accent.

Hoping you can fix this issue and reduce the time I am in the store for,

George Worton

GBK Lunch

Dear GBK,

I recently visited your Bristol (Cabot Cirus) branch of GBK with my brother. This meal ideally meant to be the 'nice' and economically viable option for lunch. We had never eaten in a Gourmet Burger King before and was excited to try it. Particularly to see if it really is better than the popular fast food chain 'Burger King'. 

Upon arrival, a sign on the door read 40% student discount with the GBK app. So I downloaded the app, which took a very long time. Meanwhile we chose our meals and then I proceeded to the counter.

I ordered myself the set menu lunch burger, and 'The Don' for my brother, alongside chips and drinks. I showed the counter assistant the code from my app and then she took off the supposed 40%. However this equated to only £1.40 due to not being applicable with our meals. I was outraged, these terms were never advertised, and having known this I would have never paid for the meals. 

I believe this 40% deal to be very misleading, and more information about it should be available to read.

We did enjoy the meal, and the monkey nuts. I was quite suprised the peanuts came in shells, why would you bother putting peanuts in shells for?

Hoping you can rectify the problems I recently had at your store and can improve vastly for next time.

Kindest regards,

George Worton

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Hi George,

Thank you for your email regarding the student discount and sorry to hear that you feel the terms were miscommunicated to you. The terms for the discount do appear on the app but perhaps it was the language we used that you weren’t aware of. Some of our burgers are classed as Resident Hero burgers and these are excluded from the discount. The Don was a resident hero but our new menu launched last week and is no longer a resident hero.

Our 40% Limited Edition Student discount has now expired but you will have unlocked a 30% student discount (same terms apply) which is valid until August 2014. I would like to offer you a complimentary £10 gift voucher to restore your faith in GBK and you can have The Don on us. Remember to show your customer ID to redeem further offers and discounts.

Please email me with your postal address so that we can post a voucher to you.

With regards to our monkey nuts – peanuts come in these shells…we just don’t often see them like this!

Apologies,

Zoe

BBC Television

Dear the BBC,

I am contacting to describe to you my current and on-going problem with your television service. Since Christmas, myself and my co-habitants decided to take the expensive plunge into watching television, where we thought Freeview would enhance our lives through hours of entertainment. However, this dream was shattered within days of service. This is because we simply cannot watch BBC channels. We have regularly updates our channel lists and have had no luck into finding anything BBC related. We looked forward to the wonders of the Apprentice and several Attenborough programs, especially scenes where wolves run across the snow. They are my favourite. I also like his voice; I often think that there is no replacement for David, if he retires. so my main point of this letter is that why do I pay for a TV license when we cannot watch BBC channels? I certainly don’t listen to BBC radio as I am more of a Planet Rock man with Alice Cooper.

Please could you think of a series of ways we could sort out this problem.

Godspeed,

George Worton

Domino's Pizza Complaint

Dear Employee of Dominos Pizza,

I recently ordered a large Texas BBQ pizza ( I usually choose this option) from your Bristol, Whiteladies store last Wednesday (30/01) . This happened to be via the internet at 5.30 pm and ordered the meal to arrive at my house at 7.30. This is a 2 hour gap, where I give plently of time for my pizza to be cooked and delivered. Which apparently wasnt enough. My Pizza came 1 hour and 10 minutes late (8.10pm). This is very inconvenient for my meal times being a Diabetic and hungry.

During my wait for the pizza, I phoned the store I ordered from and he said the pizza was cooked at 7.15 and left the shop at 7.25. So I thought that I live very near to the shop why is the delivery taking so long? If I'd had known this I may have walked there myself. But considering how I got Diabetes, Im not one to walk. I digress. So this pizza, apparently (said the man in Dominos), was with the driver for the whole time he took to deliver all the other pizzas and still had mine when he returned. So he said that he sent him out again to deliver mine.

This shamble of an operation cost me my hot pizza, hunger levels to appreciate rapidly and mild confusion.

I paid for a nice big pizza and in the end it was a cold and late pizza with the same flavour as a hot one.
This is not my idea of a takeaway from such a reputable company who once advertised on The Simpsons.

I dont know if I will order again for a very long time now.
I hope you can restore my fast food faithfulness.

Regards, George

Sainsbury's Cereal

Dear Sainsbury's Customer Service Agent,

I am contacting to describe my experience of shopping in your East Filton, Bristol store. During my visit which was the 3/03/2012 I wondered up and down your aisle's filling my shopping trolley full of food such as bourbons and chicken fillets. As I reached the cereal aisle, I remembered that the same morning I had already finished my box of shreddies so I knew that I needed some more. I do like a good bargain, so I saw a box of 'Weetabix Mini - Honey' for half price (£1) and placed them in the trolley. I thought to myself 'They look nice'. After I paid and went home, I immediately had a bowl to test them out. They were saffice. However my main problem was that I looked at the do not eat by date and was shocked to see it said the 3/03/2012. This was the day I bought it! I do not blame the cereal for my furious diarrhea but im not sure. I am dissapointed Sainsburys tricked me into buying almost out of date food. It also upset me. It was almost like Sainsbury's wanted me to eat the whole box in one day, I think that would be excessive.

I am a hard working postman and I just want to enjoy life. This for me includes activities such as the cinema and playing poker, but mainly eating good food. Therefore this problem has affected my enjoyment of the 3/03/2012.

I hope you can help me resolve this issue and help your store grow as I do not want other people in simular situations as me to also feel sad.

Yours truly

George Worton

Nando's Nandino Meal

Dear Nandos

I am very dissapointed with your quality of service in my recent visit to your Bristol restaurant branch. I have therefore taken time out of my busy and energetic life to inform you of my experience.
The problem was that as I went to the restaurant with a group of work friends from my bank who all enjoy chicken. I told them that I had already eaten lunch that my wife had made and that I only wanted a small meal. I then decided to have the 'Nandino' meal,as it was a small portion of a chicken fillet burger with chips and a bottomless yoghurt drink. I was really looking forward to this meal as it sounded perfect, considering my problem of already eating.
I then walked to the counter and had to wait a very long while as the woman took an order from the telephone. She then said 'Hi, what would you like to order?' then to my surprise the phone rang again and she answered it in my face and I had to wait even longer. Once the woman was ready I ordered my 'Nandino' meal and she looked at me strangely. Then proceeded to ask whether the meal was for a 'kid'. I said 'no' and she replied 'well you have to be under 10 years old to order this meal'. I was shocked, a grown man like me cannot order a small meal? I understand if you was selling pornographic material and you asked me for 18+ ID but I ordered a childs meal!!!! This was ridiculous. I was very angry and embarrassed. In fact, I was so embarrassed I quickly ordered a full meal and sat down again with my work friends.

This experience has deeply scarred my Nando's experience and I am very dissapointed in the company.

I would expect a full investigation into the problem and am looking forward to your reply.

Yours Sincerely,

George Worton

Royal Mail Service

Dear Sir/Madam

I am angered at your poor postal service to which I request a full investigation into the Bristol postal service. I have reason to believe their is a large balck hole in your service, where many of your employees are theiving items I have posted. These include Transformer Car Stickers which I sell on amazon. These have quiete high value and a large profit margin and lately around 4 people have said that they have not recieved the item. Also, this applies to a book I sent. The postbox I use is situated within the Frenchay Campus (East Filton) Bristol campus. Having also sold many of these items back home in North London, I believe the success rate of postal is much lower in Bristol. As Royal Mail, I believe it is your duty to provide an immaculate service, especially as your using the term 'Royal' in your name. To me this means your are a group of very nice people who work hard to provide a nice service.

I would also like to compliment the efforts of your postmen and women who get up early and post letters and parcels to the homes of millions of people no matter the weather.

Yours truly,

George Worton

Depressing times for the aged

Dear Sir/Madam

I am putting this to you, UK film council, that I have an majorly important issue concerning films and their audiences. Upon large discussions with my co-members from my local over 70's club which runs weekly in Oxford, we have identified a huge problem concerning the UK's overly mature members of the public, ie, over 70's. After deep and lengthy discussions, plus a few cups of tea and a selection of biscuits, we as microcosm of the British public, have decided to embark on a mission to combat ageism within the world of cinema.
We, the OAP's of Britain are sick and tired of the constant poor treatment of the old aged, therefore we are bringing together an army of dedicated oldies to revolutionise the perception and treatment of age within the world, starting with the UK.

We call ourselves the 'The Veterans'. You may be thinking, how does this concern us? Well, it does. Through hours of research we believe you are the undeground force of film within Britain, and with your help, we can tackle ageism. How do you do this I hear you ask, simple, we compeltely change the demographic of film audiences for British films. Why? Because there are no films aimed at people aged over 70's. This blatent act of ageism deeply affects our emotions, leading us to believe we are the outcasts from society. We deserve a mountain of respect in all honesty, after all, who battled and fought for the lives of the British public in events such as World War 2? Who were the 12 year old children who worked in factories during industrial times? We did.
We, The 'Veterans' are creating a backlash. We will revoltionise the UK film maret by creating a range of new films aimed at the 70+ age group!And we are doing this with your funding too!

So, you want to help our campaign I hear, yes, very well. We need you to invest your money into our films targeted specifically at OAP's. With your money we can begin filming the 70+ films straight away, with the first being filmed at Rick's flat, it will be the story of an old man with a new dog. An ironic twist on the saying 'you can teach an old dog new tricks'.
We OAP's love film, its the cornerstone of our monotonous lives. Don't just assume we dont attend cinema because its not within touching distance, its because their are no films showing that is intended for us. So you gather your hoard of UK film council members, consolidate about film audiences and invest in OAP films!

Awaiting your reply,



George A. Worton

Prime Minister

Dear Mr. David Cameroon

I am contacting you, the Prime Minister, to discuss a problem I encounter on unregular basis, however occuring too many times than I prefer. Anyway, as a microcosm of Britains fashionable members of society, I change my hair approximately every 2.4 months to different colours and styles. One time I even looked like Steve Tyler. Carrying on, as a result of this choice, when I travel or use my passport I do not look like my original passport photo. You of anybody would realise that this is a major disturbance upon my travels, causing delay after delay and angering me greatly, tantamount to a sack of potatoes dropped from a truely high height on to my thick body.

So please Sir Prime Minister, please can you sort something out about passport photos. Perhaps you could simply do a finger print to reveal your identitys to the airport guards, or even push the boat out and say that everyone has a secret password that they have to use to travel.

Awaiting your exellent response,

Yours humbly,

George Worton

Aged 42, worked in bank for 8 years and now a trainie hairdresser.

Raisin Loaf

Dear Raisin Loaf Manufacturer,

May I congratulate you on a superb product, and may I say, a delicious one at that. I would love to inform you of my epic discovery, of which occurred in my 1940's semi detached home. I decided to toast your product as through lack of attention, the consume by date became invalid. Anyway, due to my enraged mind, I'm sure anyone would be considering the recession and all, I toasted you product as I concluded it would be the safest way of consumption. Unexpectedly, 3 minutes later, the toaster popped up as always and there was the dense slightly blackened bread. I quickly buttered it using my new pack of Lurpak and gently grasped the hot edge and placed it in my mouth, to my surprise the Raisin Loaf slice tasted delicious. This just goes to show that your loaf is edible after the consume by date has passed, and in fact can taste quite pleasant with a warm class of champagne as I found out.
From this experience, I would gain satisfaction from asking you to extend the consume by date in your range of Raisin Loaf product as I have found it remains edible. Upon writing this email, I would also like to suggest to you a new product which no other company has thought of or created yet. This product is pre-spread bread, and may I add this would make a magnificent slogan considering the rhyming scheme identified within the phrase. This pre-spread bread would revolutionise the worlds toast audience demographic as they would no longer have to waste time spreading their favourite flavours on bread, for example a pre-spreaded slice of bread with jam on. Consumers would then only have to place it in their toaster and wait the desired amount of time before the bread and jam became a unit and taste spellbinding.

Hoping my comments can improve your products and brand,


Eagerly awaiting your reply,



George Worton

Ponti's

Dear Ponti's

I am emailing to inform you of my terrible experience at one of your Ponti's restaurants. I recently visited your resteraunt at Standsed airport, before boarding the plane to Mallorca.
As we were so hungry and parched, we needed some food and drink to solve our prediciment. So we went into Ponti's for a light snack and a juice to keep thirst at bay. After ordering and consuming two orange juice's at £3 and two bacon rolls for £3.20 we were deeply unsatisfied. The price of the orange juice's were abysmal. £3 for the best part of two oranges to be blended, then poured into a glass. This was a absolute rip off!
The Bacon rolls then arrived after waiting a good 10 minutes. Bare in mind, the price of each bacon roll was £3.20. The roll was burnt top to bottom; showing it was cooked with the lowest of care. For my next chapter; the bacon. The bacon rasher inside the roll was a joke. For one, it was burnt. Secondly, it was microscopic. Just imagine my dismay when a member of staff brought the food over.
Overall, I found my experience extermely poor. The value for the food and drink were extremely overpriced. Lastly, I really do think your letting down the Italians by using this as your company summary 'Ponti's offer a satisfyingly extensive menu, good value for money and caring staff who provide friendly service - true Italian hospitality.' Having read this, I can boldly say; that Ponti's was definitely not 'Satisfying', 'Good Value for Money' and certainly not 'true italian hospitally'. I would know; Ive been there.

Awaiting your response

George Worton

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Dear Mr. Worton,

Thank you for taking the time and trouble to contact us at Ponti’s with your comments on your recent visit. At Ponti’s we take great pride in the quality and value of our food and so I am disappointed to note that you were dissatisfied with your meal.

With regard to the orange juice I can confirm that in order to produce one 16oz glass of juice (over ¾ of a pint), that it is in fact necessary to squeeze very slightly over 1kg of fruit, which is around 7 oranges per glass. Despite well publicised rises in international food costs I am pleased to say that we have not increased the price of our orange juice for close to 2 years. While I note your comments on the price I can say that the product and its price are clearly on display and that we have many other cheaper juice options available, including pure apple juice at 2.70 and blackcurrant juice at 1.10.

With regard to your comments regarding your bacon baguettes I can only say that I am fully confident that had you raised your concerns at the time that the duty managers or indeed any of the counter staff would have been pleased to arrange immediate replacements. I understand that in the airport time is often an issue however a full refund could also have been made with ease.

Please be reassured that we do endeavour to provide “true Italian hospitality” but sometimes this becomes truly apparent if we are given the opportunity to correct our occasional mistakes. With this in mind, and as a gesture of goodwill, I would be delighted to send you a voucher which may be redeemed on your next visit to Ponti’s. If you would be so kind as to forward me your postal address I will make arrangements for it to be sent. Please do not hesitate to contact me directly if you have any concerns or comments in future,

Yours sincerely,

Adrian Russell

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Dear Adrian Russell,

Since our last exchange of emails, I have visited another one of your Ponti's restaurant's with the complemetary vouchers you sent me. At first I thought, ''great, I can get some money off a lunch'', but now I am truely dissapointed and annoyed.

Last week, I recieved my university exam results through email and was over the moon with them. I got a 2:1, better than expected. After contacting all 11 family members to tell them my results, my grandmother decided to take me out for a ''congratulations'' meal in London, as I was already up there for a hospital appointment. After my anger management, my grandmother and I were ready to eat as we hadn't eaten since breakfast, bearing in mind it was 2 o'clock in the afternoon already.

Before I set off for hospital, I remembered my Ponti's voucher that I thought I could use to save some money, considering the credit crunch and all. As we walked down Oxford street, I saw a Ponti's Italian Kitchen, which we then quickly decided we would eat in. The meal was excellent, the service was heavenly and the food was delicious. We had a whale of a time. Anyway, as we paid I handed my grandmother the Ponti's voucher so she could use them to shave pounds of the price of the meal. When she gave the man the vouchers he took them to the till to see if they were valid. A minute later, the italian waiter came back saying these vouchers were not available to use at this Ponti's chain. I was full of rage. I came into the restaurant expecting to save £10, when in reality, I saved £0!

Ponti's really need to sort out their act, there was absolutely no way that anyone would be able to see that these vouchers wern't valid in that restaurant. So what now? Im stuck with £10 of pratically useless vouchers ( I do not want another bad meal at the aiport thankyou very much) which were issued to make up for a previous poor experience I had with the company.

I hope you can sort these issues out quickly, as Ponti's has great potential, however the execution is lacking in quality.

Awaiting your response,

George Worton

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Dear Mr. Worton,



Thank you for your e-mail concerning our Restaurant at Oxford Circus



Please accept my apologies that the vouchers you were issued were treated in such a manner in Ponti’s Italian Kitchen. I would like to confirm that the vouchers you have are acceptable in all Ponti’s outlets (including Ponti’s Italian Kitchen). I will shortly be visiting the restaurant in question and I will have a discussion with your waiter for me to understand his reason for behaving in such a manner. I am sure that following my visit everyone in this restaurant will be aware how to handle these vouchers.



Yours sincerely,

Alasdair Deakin

Marks & Spencers Percy Pig's

Dear Mr Mark and Mrs Spencer,

I am emailing you to express my concern for your product 'Percy Pigs'. Recently in the news, I have been hearing alot about the new 'Swine' Flu which has deeply affected the way I live my life. This is to the extent that I wear silicon gloves and a mask everywhere I go, and when someone coughs near, I run away. However, thats a totally different story, what I really want to know is whether your confectionary product 'Percy Pigs' can contain and spread the 'Swine Flu'?. I am no expert on this delicious product, but from the name of it, I gathered one of the ingredients is Pork. If so, I would seriously recommend you to perhaps changing the meat inside to another alternative, such as Horse.

If you would be so kind to get back to me with an answer to my enquire I would be most appreciative.

Thankyou,

George Worton

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Dear Mr Worton,

Thank you for your email. I understand that in this currently climatethat customers are very concerned by the swine flu situation. I am please to confirm that none of our products including Percy Pigsweets, have been effected by this.

I hope my email comes someway to help reassure you.

Kind Regards,

Syreeta Thomas

Customer Service Advisor

Sainsbury's Drink Quality

Dear Sainsbury's poor food and drink services,

I am emailing to inform you about your poor quality Orange Juice.

I bought the orange the other day at a store in Reading, which was Sainsbury's own make.

I desperatly needed the juice because I was dehydrated after eating plain biscuits without a drink. So I purchased the drink and was about to drink it, then to my surprise a black creature, about 2 cm in length was floating around in it. I was so angry. I could not ever drink it as it was infected with animal.

I am deeply saddened by this poor product that I am seriously considering never buying snacks from sainsburys again, ever.

George Worton

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Dear Mr Worton

Thank you for your email. I am sorry that you found an insect in our juice. I can appreciate how distressing this must have been for you.

We want our customers to be completely happy with everything they buy from us so we set very high standards. We check our suppliers are meeting these standards by visiting them regularly and quality checking their products. We also use the feedback we get from our customers to continually improve our products.

If you still have the packaging, I would be very grateful if you could please provide us with the following details. This will help us identify the exact time and place of manufacture so we can let our suppliers know.

(details... blah... blah...blah)

Once again, thank you for your email. As soon as the product has been identified, we will be in a position to supply you with more information. I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

Kind regards

Marianne Dixon
Customer Manager

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Dear Mr.Dixon

Thankyou for your email back about the animal in my juice,

I am glad that sainsburys check up on their products, but this problem still occurred!

I am sorry, I do not have the packaging as I threw away the drink in a near by river, with rage.

Regards,

George Worton

B & Q Exits

Dear Sir/Madam

I recently visited your B&Q store along the A10 in Enfield. I am emailing to tell you about my problem. My problem was that after several hours of pondering around, I had to leave for an appointment at my local surgery, due to my knee feeling strange when walking along the paths outside Morrisons. I really wanted to leave the store, but I couldn't find the exit.
I was really optimistic about my operation. After 45 minutes I found the exit and was 20 minutes late for the operation. In the end, I only had 10 minutes worth of operation. I am dissapointed in B&Q for not making the exits clear.

Awaiting your response

George Worton

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Dear Mr Worton

Thank you for your email of 25th June and I apologise for the delay inresponding. I am sorry to hear of your difficulty in locating the exit at the B&Qstore in Enfield recently. This must have caused you some distress at the thought of being late for your operation.
Our staff are always available for any assistance, so please do not hesitate to approach them in store if required Thank you for your comments which will be taken into consideration during future store refurbishments. I do hope this experience will not prevent you from making future visits to B&Q. May I wish you a speedy recover from your operation and thank you once again for your comment.

Regards

Margaret Brownlie

Customer Services Advisor

Alexandra Palace Ice Rink

Dear Sir/Madam,

I recently visited Alexandra Palace, where me and my friends went ice skating. I was very disappointed by the state of the ice rink and the quality of the skates. The Ice Skates were very uneven and the laces were so bad; bordering on impossible to use. The skates were extremely difficult to make them fit!. The ice was very bad, it was very slippery with chunks of ice everywhere. I felt like I was in the Artic! I am a grade 8 skater, and even I couldn't skate!

I even asked to speak to the manager, but the security guard muttered to me 'not now'.

If you could please get back to me with a response A.S.A.P, I have great concerns as to people's safety and wish to get back on the ice every weekend once quality of everything has gone up.

Thankyou

George Worton

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Dear George


I take your comments on board and thank you for your custom to date.

It would have been useful if you were able to tell me at what time and on what day you came as I could then question the staff that were on duty.It was probable that I was on site and that a Duty Manager was too,both of us able and willing to answer and react to any reasonable concern raised by a member of the public.I therefore should like to take your comment up about the security guard with his management.

It may interest you to know that we have just invested £10,000 in new skates which have been arriving throughout this week and have been made available to the public from our skate hire.The order also included 200 new pairs of laces and new tongues which are being used to service some of our existing skates.I am pleased this investment has been made although it is something I have been requesting for rather a long time.

This is the busiest time of year for ice skating and we resurface the ice many times through the day.It is however most unusual for 'chunks' of ice to be around unless kids have been hacking at it with their toe rakes.The management staff have the authority and ability to resurface the ice midway through a session should there be cause or reason to do so.Safety is of paramount importance to us all and we have a good safety record covering eighteen years of continuous operation.

I hope you are able to continue to enjoy your ice skating here at Ally Pally.You may find the morning sessions or Club ice a little less busy and more condusive therefore to practising the elements of a level 8 skater.Thank you for drawing my attention to some of your concerns.

Yours sincerely

Jeremy Walton

Leisure Facilities Manager.

Marks & Spencers Job Application

Thank you for taking the time to complete our online talent screener. We are really sorry but you have not passed the on line test on this occasion.

Please do consider applying to us again in 6 months time, when we would be pleased to re consider you application.

Thanks again and best of luck for the future.

Recruitment Department Marks & Spencer

NB: Please do not reply to this email as it has been automatically generated.

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Dear Marks and Spencer's

I am very annoyed by this utter rubbish of a result in the test in which I took applying for a job. I feel as though I filled in the test perfectly and should have passed. Is this test made for a joke? To waste people's time by filling it in? There must be an 99% pass mark!

As of this I will not be filling in any more applications for Marks and Spencer's or indeed, shop in any of the stores ever again in my life. Ever.

Yours sincerely

George Worton